Years End and Loss of a Beloved Brother
January 2006
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When we left off last, we were in Tempe, Arizona with the Waterkotte family preparing to depart on a family cruise to Mexico to celebrate Christmas 2005 and New Years. Life has a crazy way of letting you know you are not in charge, however. Within a few days of arriving in Tempe, and as we were stressing out about the potential cost of new brakes for the van, we were met with news nobody ever wants to receive. Sarah’s brother and dear friend, Adam died in his sleep as a result of a seizure. Suddenly the cost of new brakes meant nothing. With help from Eric’s family, we flew into Arcata, California, Adam’s beloved home, and joined Sarah’s family and Sarah’s Dad’s best friend, Matt, so that we could all be together, pack up Adam’s things and cremate his body. The night we arrived we read aloud several things Adam had written within a few weeks of his death. In them Adam spoke about how he strived to overcome obstacles in his life, his gratitude for all the things in life he loved, and his desire to inspire others. The most comforting of all of his writings was one he wrote within hours of his death. It expressed his feeling that he knew what his purpose in life was, and still is – to inspire others. The slow but difficult healing process began by working together as we packed up his apartment, held each other during the cremation and sat talking with each other. But even in the midst of what felt like unending and impossible days after Adam’s death we found Adam’s inspiration coming back to us. The man in charge of cremating Adam’s body had lived in Arcata for years. He told us he had seen Adam about town and had noticed that Adam wore a hearing aid. He asked him one day if it helped him hear better and Adam had said yes. The man told us that the reason he was wearing a hearing aid was because of his conversation with Adam. And another message: Adam’s bumper sticker on the back of his beat up, rebuilt, Humboldt-style minivan: The meaning of life is to live it.
Losing Adam drove home for us the importance of spending time with loved ones whenever we have the chance. As difficult as it was, we decided to go on the cruise as planned because it was our last chance to see many people in our family for at least six months. After much discussion, we found ourselves on a plane to meet up with the Waterkotte clan at the L.A. airport. The contrast of the cruise was difficult, but we felt grateful for the time with family. We did our best to put one foot in front of the other, pushed on by our new found appreciation for savoring every moment of life. Check out the cruise pictures under "The Holiday Voyage".
Upon returning from the cruise, we found that Bruce had made a break for it not once, but twice, while we were gone in an effort to find us. He knew that we had left suddenly and upset and decided if we weren’t coming to him he would try to get to us. Fortunately, our dear friend, dog lover and master seamstress, Treva Griffin, was taking care of Bruce and tracked him down both times. So we picked up Bruce, the van and a custom Treva-made mosquito proof room for the van and headed straight for Dana Point to be with Darryl, Tina and Noah again. All in all, we ended up spending a month or so in Southern California together, spending time with our family, visiting the Boghossians for a few days around Gabriel and Bella’s 4th Birthdays, and picking out books from Darryl and Tina’s home library to take with us on the next leg of our journey. We also had the pleasure of attending our dear friends, Daval and Ellen's wedding. Although it was a bit difficult to get in the mood to celebrate, it was a beutiful wedding and we relished the opportunity to reconnect with close friends from Seattle. The time with the Freeland side of the family was so dear, despite the circumstances, each day significant in pulling ourselves back together after Adam’s passing and bringing us closer as a family. We all flew up to Arcata again for Adam’s memorial service. Seeing so many people gathered in Adam’s memory, sharing stories, sharing smiles, sharing tears and hugs was both powerful and healing.
For those who missed meeting Adam while he shared air with us we hold his story very close to our hearts. He was a goofy, kind, determined, intelligent and compassionate young man. We have created a memorial Web site dedicated to the memory of Adam’s life in an effort to keep Adam’s wish to inspire others alive. For those of you who did not know Adam and would like to know more about him, we have included the obituary that ran in the local Arcata newspaper. Also, in honor of Adam we ask that all of you out there take the time today to tell your family and friends how much they mean to you because one thing is for sure, life is too short not to say, “I love you” every chance you get.